Nap & Poop Log

Those who know me well should not be surprised to learn that yes, I have been charting my boys' naps and poops for the last few weeks, trying to find/confirm correlation between the two. Yes, I am that nerdy. But the engineer in me is just always trying to find "root cause" for their poor napping, despite my VERY rigid/consistent attempts to right the ship. Well, the root cause is VERY obvious...as I suspected, it is poops!

I have 23 days worth of data. Of Luke's 46 nap attempts (one in the morning and one in the afternoon), he napped 28 out of 46 times. And of those 18 non-naps, he had a poop 16 out of 18 times! And of the 28 naps that he took, he had ZERO poops! VERY obvious trend here. If he poops after I put him down, he won't fall asleep. If he doesn't poop, he will.

Now for Kyle. And he's had a cold for the last 1.5 weeks, so I'm lumping needing a tissue in with poops for him. Out of his 23 afternoon nap attempts, he napped 7 times (with no poops or nose issues). And of the 16 non-naps, he had a poop 10 times and needed his leaking-faucet nose repeatedly wiped the other 6.

So again, the root cause is quite obvious...if they have a poop (or a leaky faucet nose), they will NOT nap. If they don't, they will. So the obvious solution seems to be to check them for a poop (and squirt crazy glue up their nose) if they're not asleep after 15 minutes or so and change them if they do...I have tried this with both of them, but it seems to reset them...me coming in with the light on and changing a diaper makes them think naptime is over. So that hasn't worked.

So while the root cause of not napping is quite obvious, it does not explain how ridiculously untimely/unsynced they are with their non-naps (from a selfish Mommy standpoint of SOOOO wanting a little quiet, kid-free break during the day). And why they have to poop so often at the beginning of their naps?! On the mornings that Kyle is at school, I have the potential for a little break. Kyle had school 12 of the 23 mornings. And of those 12 days, I exercised 5 of them so those don't count since basically the whole Kyle-free window is spent exercising/showering. So of the 7 school/non-exercise mornings, Luke only napped 1 day (had poops the other 6)! And then for the afternoon naps, of Luke's 17 and Kyle's 7 naps, they did not overlap once, meaning Kyle napped on the same 7 afternoons that Luke did not...crazy! So of these 23 days, I only got a true nap break once (or actually twice, because Grammy took Kyle one afternoon and Luke napped). I know I sound like such a "poor me" loser. But I just feel like the potential is there, but poops and awful timing prevent it from happening.

Not getting a daily nap break from them was much harder to accept when they were 2 and "0", because it seemed like I "should" given their ages. But now that Kyle's 3, it is psychologically a little easier to accept because I know not all 3 years olds take naps. But it's still hard because they are both at such physically demanding, very dependent stages in terms of dressing/feeding/diapers/etc, that it feels like they are still "babies" and therefore should be napping better.

So now that you know WAY more than you'd ever want to about my boys' pooping habits, I guess this rambling, not-interesting-to-anyone-but-me post can be summed up very succinctly...I have CRAPPY NAPPERS, literally! So my new thing is to either put on my industrial earphones or turn on the microwave exhaust fan when I put them down for their afternoon nap, to try to drown out whatever yelling/crying is occurring while I wolf down my lunch and coffee. Oh, and if anyone is interested, over those 23 days, Kyle averaged 3.8 poops/day and Luke 4.3. So that's over 8 poopy diapers I'm changing per day. And Luke REFUSES to lie on his back for diapers, and it's a big game for Kyle teasing me and then running away when I try to change him (and he's showing NO potty interest/readiness yet). So not only is it very gross/frequent, but very challenging/frustrating to boot. Fun! Must look into ways to constipate my children... ;)

Let's see, since this post seems to be a negative one, what else can I complain about. Oh yeah, Luke is IMPOSSIBLE to get into his carseat these days! Kyle never went through that phase, but I had heard/read about it. He just becomes an absolute wild man, arching/twisting/bending to try to prevent me from strapping him in. And on Kyle's 4 school days, I get to strap him in FOUR times in a 2.5 hr span! If only they had a pre-preschool program, where I could drop Luke off for those 2 hrs too! Or at least a drive-through dropoff/pickup for Kyle.

And an update on another challenging Luke situation...a speech therapist came with Luke's Early Intervention OT yesterday and observed his eating. After seeing how he barely opens his mouth, doesn't really chew, and lets finger food just sit in his mouth instead of swallowing, she estimated that he's eating at about an 8 month level (and he's 14 months). So that at least validated my incredible frustration with feeding him, and how far off independent eating feels right now. She didn't really have any answers though, just that he seems to have low tone and to try to stimulate the mouth/facial muscles. Not sure how to do that, but I guess I'll look into it and add it to the to-do list. I go back to the feeding clinic with him in a few weeks and hopefully they will have some answers/solutions. It's just been SUCH a long 14 month struggle to nourish him, with no real end in sight. But he is making progress and I need to just focus on that. And she did think he was within the realm of normal (on the low end) for his "speech"...no words yet but she said he's making some good sounds which is encouraging. And his receptive language (and desire to learn) seems to be taking off, which is great to see!

I am constantly reminded by friends/family (and I fully know) that these are just tough ages regardless, even under the best of circumstances. And I 100% know that it would feel almost as hard even if Jared were here, because I wouldn't have the perspective that I have now. Although most of the daily kid "chores" would still largely fall on me, I'd get the little pick-me-up phone calls and emails during the day from him at work, and have the change of dynamics every night/weekend/vacation when he was home, and have his companionship/love/support/encouragement to look forward to each and every day. And help with the house upkeep. Not to mention the breaks from diapers, baths, the kid-free windows, getting to sleep-in occasionally, etc, etc. It would still feel very hard, but not in the lonely/overwhelming way it feels now.

What this all boils down to is that life continues to be very challenging on many levels. The basic challenge of raising our two little boys alone, paired with lots of worrying/managing their various developmental issues, all with the constant sadness of missing Jared and the happy, fulfilling life we shared. It would be easy to say that I didn't know how good I had it. But I absolutely DID know how good I had it and I recognized and appreciated our happy marriage every single day. I think that only makes it harder. In some ways, the true root cause of all of life's challenges right now is just how much I miss Jared, and miss sharing our life/children together, both the good times as well as the challenges. If Jared were here, all the other challenges/difficulties would remain. But tackling them as a team would make all the difference in the world.

Wow, this really did end up being a rambling post. I guess sometimes it helps to put all these feelings down into words. And the pickings were slim, but here are a few recent pics of the boys for you...