Aunt Ca (and family) R-O-C-K ROCK!!!!!!

So having the best sister in the world (especially an unemployed one!) has many benefits. Thanks to Ca (and family), I had the BEST 40 hour stretch!! And within the 40 hrs were many distinctively different and wonderful segments. I'll summarize below:

7:30pm to midnight Saturday: Ca (aka TBSITW, The Best Sister in the World) came over with my favorite takeout for dinner and a visit. So in the this segment, I got to eat one of my favorite meals and visit with one of my favorite people!

Midnight to 5am(ish) Sunday: Ca slept on my couch, enduring the very annoying cat activity going on around her. She slept over so that...

5am(ish) to 7am(ish) Sunday: Ca was in charge of the boys' early morning wake-up/breakfast while I was able to stay in bed and relax! I woke up when Kyle got up around 5am, but it was the most WONDERFUL feeling to be "off duty". And the absolute best part of this was listening to their cute interactions. Ca has SUCH a wonderful way with them and they both adore her. Kyle knew of the whole plan ahead of time and was super excited about everything. But I thought it was best to keep Luke somewhat in the dark and just let him go with the flow (he knew he was sleeping over his cousins, but didn't know Ca was getting him up, etc). But he was totally fine with everything though. I just can't describe how much I enjoyed listening to their morning with Aunt Ca, hearing them be loved and enjoyed, and vice versa. I was just lying there with a huge smile on my face the whole time :) It's a perspective/luxury that I really, really miss.

8am to 8pm Sunday: Ca left with the boys a little after 7am I think, and I stayed in bed until almost 8am. Then my game plan for the day was just to start in one corner of the house and work my way through it, organizing and doing the million little things that I never have time to do. I didn't know if this would be too vague/unrealistic of a goal, but it wasn't (probably because I have a very organized house to begin with). I absolutely CRANKED! And felt so incredibly energized while doing it. It didn't even occur to me to have coffee until midway through the day, and then I had it just because I enjoy it, not because I needed it. And I barely ate anything until around 5pm (and usually food is something I very much look forward to throughout the day, and especially when I have my favorite leftovers in the fridge!).

For those who know me well, a day full of accomplishment like this is pure bliss. I had NO desire to rest/relax during the day (I logged 10,000+ steps on my Fitbit without even leaving the house!). I fixed some stuff, rearranged some furniture, generated 5 giant garbage bags for Goodwill (oooh how I love getting rid of stuff!), and cleaned/organized all 10, yes 10, of our closets (I didn't realize just how many we had until yesterday). And many other satisfying little odds and ends projects.

I literally got everything accomplished that I had hoped to, which is such a wonderful (and unfamiliar!) feeling. I just love feeling like everything is organized, and that all the stuff in our house is truly stuff we need/want/use (I am the exact opposite of a pack rat!). I could go on and on about my "organizer's high", but I think you get the drift.

8pm to 11:30pm Sunday: As I was finishing up around the house, I wanted to run some errands. So I did! Went grocery shopping, Target and Walmart. And just leisurely went through my lists. No rushing, no kids, no needing a babysitter, no curfew. It was such a wonderful, liberating feeling, even though it made for a late night.

Midnight to 9am Monday: Slept until 5am (no surprise, since I'm used to being woken up then every day). But then stayed in bed until 9am, in and out of sleep, savoring the quiet house and just being lazy. Ahhh...

9am to 11am Monday: Took a relaxing shower (without listening for crying/yelling...I even had the exhaust fan on!). Then was on a conference call from 10-11, without fear that someone would be yelling/crying when I had the phone off mute to say something. Then I left to pick up my precious boys. And they were such giddy little chatterboxes on the way home, so excited to tell me about all their fun adventures...I loved it! They had such a blast!

As you probably gathered, sleep wasn't a priority during this stretch. While that's something I crave every day, wishing I could sleep in occasionally, I realized it was VERY unlikely that I'd actually be able to do it "on demand"...too much pressure, especially when my body is programmed to wake so early. And in reality, what would one night of extra sleep really do for me? Nothing. But 12 hrs of catching up around the house? DEFINITELY did something for me.

I just feel so energized and recharged. It was such a new and wonderful feeling, going through the whole day alone in the house and on "my terms"...not having to drop what I was doing to change a diaper, wipe a nose (every 30 seconds), get a drink, wipe a butt, help find something, settle a fight, etc. And not feeling rushed because there were no outside commitments/responsibilities/influences to define or interrupt the day. It made me realize how my wishes/plans just always take the back-burner to my very demanding little boys. And I realized how much that wears on you, feeling like time is never your own. Man, I could go on and on. Having the "Day of Dit" was just what the doctor ordered...it felt so wonderfully different and I just felt so alive!

And I was glad to be so occupied on Father's Day. Obviously that's a sad day for me, so I was happy to be busy and just avoided Facebook like the plague (didn't feel like reading everyone's declarations that their kids have the best dad). I had a vivid dream Saturday night that was upsetting but with a slightly positive angle. I dreamt that I forgot it was Father's Day and, when I remembered, felt bad that Jon had extra kids in the house on "his day". So I called him to apologize and he said something to the effect "I'm happy the boys are here because it's a reminder of how lucky I am that I get to be a father, and that it wasn't taken away from me". I cried every time I thought about this dream yesterday, thinking about all the life/love/experiences that Jared and our boys are missing out on. But I also had kind of a hopeful feeling, that maybe other dads appreciate their role, getting to be a dad, a little more because of Jared. I'm always trying to find something "good" that came out of his death, and I think this is the closest I can come.

Anyway, back to my "high"...I just COMPLETELY underestimated the effect that one quiet, productive, stress-free, kid-free day/night in the house could have. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade my loud, unproductive, stressful life for anything. But MAN was it rejuvenating! And I was actually able to miss my boys, which was a great feeling!

And what made everything that much more awesome was the fact that TBSITW texted me photos/updates throughout the day, saying how good they were being and how much fun they were having. That's Ca for you, going above and beyond...not just taking them for a sleepover, but going out of her way to make me feel good about it (even after getting up at 5am with them two days in a row!). She just has such an uncanny knack for always knowing exactly how/what to do/say. It was just complete worry-free, guilt-free bliss.

And the weather was exactly how I like it yesterday...not too hot, a little ominous/stormy-looking but no rain. I had all the windows open and enjoyed the wonderful breezes blowing through. It just really felt like "my day" :) I know people always think that I should or would want to get away for a mini-vacation. But I can honestly say I have no desire to do that. Yesterday was absolutely perfect. That's my idea of a vacation. A productive, quiet day alone in the house, along with a leisurely kid-free morning. I don't know what that says about me, but it's the truth. It was just the BEST day!

Whew, what a long, rambling post this turned out to be! I just wanted to document and share this wonderful feeling. THANK YOU with all my heart Ca, Jon, Alex and Rachel. Hoping this "high" lingers for a while... :)