Elmo and Cookie Monster had a good White Halloween on "Lower Lowell", trick-or-treating with their horse and moose cousins. Pooks had fun riding in the wagon, knocking around his pumpkin and sucking on candy wrappers. And Kyle liked the concept of going up to the door and getting candy (and would say "trick or treat" if prompted, but usually after the fact). He said he wanted to eat the candy after the first house, but I told him that he'd have to wait until afterward. And then he didn't ask for it when we got home so I didn't give him any...why give a 3 year old candy if he isn't asking for it, right?!
And the UMASS feeding clinic had a cancellation today, so I took Luke a few weeks earlier than scheduled. Nothing noteworthy to report. They say he's growing well and getting the right nutrition (albeit largely through baby food and formula powder!). And after observing him eat/drink, the team didn't see any concerning red flags that would indicate a more serious issue. They did of course see how delayed he is in his chewing/swallowing abilities but felt it's somewhat within the realm of normal and will just take some work to get him caught up. But they feel he definitely has potential as an eater :)
So basically they said to keep battling forward with the finger foods and recommended stimulating his mouth (with some sort of vibrating thing) before each meal to wake up the muscles/senses a little. After all, life would just be WAY too easy if he could just put food in his mouth, chew and swallow without all this work/intervention! I also felt good because they completely agreed with me about passing on the barium swallow test, feeling it was unnecessary. The issue seems to be more with his tongue and facial tone, not with his swallowing.
And after his appointment this afternoon, I took him for his first haircut! I had trimmed his bangs a little before, but he was starting to get more straggly-looking than I thought I could remedy, so it was time. And what better time than when I was out with just him anyway. And despite having essentially not napped today (except for about 10 minutes this morning before I had to wake him up to get Kyle from school, and then another 10 minutes or so in the car on the way to his haircut), he did great! A bit confused but overall happy and accommodating with no fussing. Just when I thought he couldn't get any cuter, I think he just did :)
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Happy Birthday Grammy!
The boys and I crashed Grammy's birthday lunch with Ca, Alex and Rachel at Unos today! I decided last minute that we'd join them, much to Grammy's surprise. I ordered Kyle's pizza ahead of time as "to go", so it was ready when we got there to minimize his waiting-for-food tantrum. He loved his pizza, but no so much the carrot sticks I brought to keep him occupied afterward. And Luke had fun hanging out with the big kids (and really liked the fact that he didn't actually have to eat!).
Here are a few pictures of Grammy's birthday lunch. Note, these pictures do not include one of Luke's car door handle, which I somehow ripped completely off the car in the parking lot so had to load/unload him through Kyle's side (stopped at a repair shop on the way home and it's really broken...have to fix through Subaru...ugh).
Here are a few pictures of Grammy's birthday lunch. Note, these pictures do not include one of Luke's car door handle, which I somehow ripped completely off the car in the parking lot so had to load/unload him through Kyle's side (stopped at a repair shop on the way home and it's really broken...have to fix through Subaru...ugh).
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Nap & Poop Log
Those who know me well should not be surprised to learn that yes, I have been charting my boys' naps and poops for the last few weeks, trying to find/confirm correlation between the two. Yes, I am that nerdy. But the engineer in me is just always trying to find "root cause" for their poor napping, despite my VERY rigid/consistent attempts to right the ship. Well, the root cause is VERY obvious...as I suspected, it is poops!
I have 23 days worth of data. Of Luke's 46 nap attempts (one in the morning and one in the afternoon), he napped 28 out of 46 times. And of those 18 non-naps, he had a poop 16 out of 18 times! And of the 28 naps that he took, he had ZERO poops! VERY obvious trend here. If he poops after I put him down, he won't fall asleep. If he doesn't poop, he will.
Now for Kyle. And he's had a cold for the last 1.5 weeks, so I'm lumping needing a tissue in with poops for him. Out of his 23 afternoon nap attempts, he napped 7 times (with no poops or nose issues). And of the 16 non-naps, he had a poop 10 times and needed his leaking-faucet nose repeatedly wiped the other 6.
So again, the root cause is quite obvious...if they have a poop (or a leaky faucet nose), they will NOT nap. If they don't, they will. So the obvious solution seems to be to check them for a poop (and squirt crazy glue up their nose) if they're not asleep after 15 minutes or so and change them if they do...I have tried this with both of them, but it seems to reset them...me coming in with the light on and changing a diaper makes them think naptime is over. So that hasn't worked.
So while the root cause of not napping is quite obvious, it does not explain how ridiculously untimely/unsynced they are with their non-naps (from a selfish Mommy standpoint of SOOOO wanting a little quiet, kid-free break during the day). And why they have to poop so often at the beginning of their naps?! On the mornings that Kyle is at school, I have the potential for a little break. Kyle had school 12 of the 23 mornings. And of those 12 days, I exercised 5 of them so those don't count since basically the whole Kyle-free window is spent exercising/showering. So of the 7 school/non-exercise mornings, Luke only napped 1 day (had poops the other 6)! And then for the afternoon naps, of Luke's 17 and Kyle's 7 naps, they did not overlap once, meaning Kyle napped on the same 7 afternoons that Luke did not...crazy! So of these 23 days, I only got a true nap break once (or actually twice, because Grammy took Kyle one afternoon and Luke napped). I know I sound like such a "poor me" loser. But I just feel like the potential is there, but poops and awful timing prevent it from happening.
Not getting a daily nap break from them was much harder to accept when they were 2 and "0", because it seemed like I "should" given their ages. But now that Kyle's 3, it is psychologically a little easier to accept because I know not all 3 years olds take naps. But it's still hard because they are both at such physically demanding, very dependent stages in terms of dressing/feeding/diapers/etc, that it feels like they are still "babies" and therefore should be napping better.
So now that you know WAY more than you'd ever want to about my boys' pooping habits, I guess this rambling, not-interesting-to-anyone-but-me post can be summed up very succinctly...I have CRAPPY NAPPERS, literally! So my new thing is to either put on my industrial earphones or turn on the microwave exhaust fan when I put them down for their afternoon nap, to try to drown out whatever yelling/crying is occurring while I wolf down my lunch and coffee. Oh, and if anyone is interested, over those 23 days, Kyle averaged 3.8 poops/day and Luke 4.3. So that's over 8 poopy diapers I'm changing per day. And Luke REFUSES to lie on his back for diapers, and it's a big game for Kyle teasing me and then running away when I try to change him (and he's showing NO potty interest/readiness yet). So not only is it very gross/frequent, but very challenging/frustrating to boot. Fun! Must look into ways to constipate my children... ;)
Let's see, since this post seems to be a negative one, what else can I complain about. Oh yeah, Luke is IMPOSSIBLE to get into his carseat these days! Kyle never went through that phase, but I had heard/read about it. He just becomes an absolute wild man, arching/twisting/bending to try to prevent me from strapping him in. And on Kyle's 4 school days, I get to strap him in FOUR times in a 2.5 hr span! If only they had a pre-preschool program, where I could drop Luke off for those 2 hrs too! Or at least a drive-through dropoff/pickup for Kyle.
And an update on another challenging Luke situation...a speech therapist came with Luke's Early Intervention OT yesterday and observed his eating. After seeing how he barely opens his mouth, doesn't really chew, and lets finger food just sit in his mouth instead of swallowing, she estimated that he's eating at about an 8 month level (and he's 14 months). So that at least validated my incredible frustration with feeding him, and how far off independent eating feels right now. She didn't really have any answers though, just that he seems to have low tone and to try to stimulate the mouth/facial muscles. Not sure how to do that, but I guess I'll look into it and add it to the to-do list. I go back to the feeding clinic with him in a few weeks and hopefully they will have some answers/solutions. It's just been SUCH a long 14 month struggle to nourish him, with no real end in sight. But he is making progress and I need to just focus on that. And she did think he was within the realm of normal (on the low end) for his "speech"...no words yet but she said he's making some good sounds which is encouraging. And his receptive language (and desire to learn) seems to be taking off, which is great to see!
I am constantly reminded by friends/family (and I fully know) that these are just tough ages regardless, even under the best of circumstances. And I 100% know that it would feel almost as hard even if Jared were here, because I wouldn't have the perspective that I have now. Although most of the daily kid "chores" would still largely fall on me, I'd get the little pick-me-up phone calls and emails during the day from him at work, and have the change of dynamics every night/weekend/vacation when he was home, and have his companionship/love/support/encouragement to look forward to each and every day. And help with the house upkeep. Not to mention the breaks from diapers, baths, the kid-free windows, getting to sleep-in occasionally, etc, etc. It would still feel very hard, but not in the lonely/overwhelming way it feels now.
What this all boils down to is that life continues to be very challenging on many levels. The basic challenge of raising our two little boys alone, paired with lots of worrying/managing their various developmental issues, all with the constant sadness of missing Jared and the happy, fulfilling life we shared. It would be easy to say that I didn't know how good I had it. But I absolutely DID know how good I had it and I recognized and appreciated our happy marriage every single day. I think that only makes it harder. In some ways, the true root cause of all of life's challenges right now is just how much I miss Jared, and miss sharing our life/children together, both the good times as well as the challenges. If Jared were here, all the other challenges/difficulties would remain. But tackling them as a team would make all the difference in the world.
Wow, this really did end up being a rambling post. I guess sometimes it helps to put all these feelings down into words. And the pickings were slim, but here are a few recent pics of the boys for you...
I have 23 days worth of data. Of Luke's 46 nap attempts (one in the morning and one in the afternoon), he napped 28 out of 46 times. And of those 18 non-naps, he had a poop 16 out of 18 times! And of the 28 naps that he took, he had ZERO poops! VERY obvious trend here. If he poops after I put him down, he won't fall asleep. If he doesn't poop, he will.
Now for Kyle. And he's had a cold for the last 1.5 weeks, so I'm lumping needing a tissue in with poops for him. Out of his 23 afternoon nap attempts, he napped 7 times (with no poops or nose issues). And of the 16 non-naps, he had a poop 10 times and needed his leaking-faucet nose repeatedly wiped the other 6.
So again, the root cause is quite obvious...if they have a poop (or a leaky faucet nose), they will NOT nap. If they don't, they will. So the obvious solution seems to be to check them for a poop (and squirt crazy glue up their nose) if they're not asleep after 15 minutes or so and change them if they do...I have tried this with both of them, but it seems to reset them...me coming in with the light on and changing a diaper makes them think naptime is over. So that hasn't worked.
So while the root cause of not napping is quite obvious, it does not explain how ridiculously untimely/unsynced they are with their non-naps (from a selfish Mommy standpoint of SOOOO wanting a little quiet, kid-free break during the day). And why they have to poop so often at the beginning of their naps?! On the mornings that Kyle is at school, I have the potential for a little break. Kyle had school 12 of the 23 mornings. And of those 12 days, I exercised 5 of them so those don't count since basically the whole Kyle-free window is spent exercising/showering. So of the 7 school/non-exercise mornings, Luke only napped 1 day (had poops the other 6)! And then for the afternoon naps, of Luke's 17 and Kyle's 7 naps, they did not overlap once, meaning Kyle napped on the same 7 afternoons that Luke did not...crazy! So of these 23 days, I only got a true nap break once (or actually twice, because Grammy took Kyle one afternoon and Luke napped). I know I sound like such a "poor me" loser. But I just feel like the potential is there, but poops and awful timing prevent it from happening.
Not getting a daily nap break from them was much harder to accept when they were 2 and "0", because it seemed like I "should" given their ages. But now that Kyle's 3, it is psychologically a little easier to accept because I know not all 3 years olds take naps. But it's still hard because they are both at such physically demanding, very dependent stages in terms of dressing/feeding/diapers/etc, that it feels like they are still "babies" and therefore should be napping better.
So now that you know WAY more than you'd ever want to about my boys' pooping habits, I guess this rambling, not-interesting-to-anyone-but-me post can be summed up very succinctly...I have CRAPPY NAPPERS, literally! So my new thing is to either put on my industrial earphones or turn on the microwave exhaust fan when I put them down for their afternoon nap, to try to drown out whatever yelling/crying is occurring while I wolf down my lunch and coffee. Oh, and if anyone is interested, over those 23 days, Kyle averaged 3.8 poops/day and Luke 4.3. So that's over 8 poopy diapers I'm changing per day. And Luke REFUSES to lie on his back for diapers, and it's a big game for Kyle teasing me and then running away when I try to change him (and he's showing NO potty interest/readiness yet). So not only is it very gross/frequent, but very challenging/frustrating to boot. Fun! Must look into ways to constipate my children... ;)
Let's see, since this post seems to be a negative one, what else can I complain about. Oh yeah, Luke is IMPOSSIBLE to get into his carseat these days! Kyle never went through that phase, but I had heard/read about it. He just becomes an absolute wild man, arching/twisting/bending to try to prevent me from strapping him in. And on Kyle's 4 school days, I get to strap him in FOUR times in a 2.5 hr span! If only they had a pre-preschool program, where I could drop Luke off for those 2 hrs too! Or at least a drive-through dropoff/pickup for Kyle.
And an update on another challenging Luke situation...a speech therapist came with Luke's Early Intervention OT yesterday and observed his eating. After seeing how he barely opens his mouth, doesn't really chew, and lets finger food just sit in his mouth instead of swallowing, she estimated that he's eating at about an 8 month level (and he's 14 months). So that at least validated my incredible frustration with feeding him, and how far off independent eating feels right now. She didn't really have any answers though, just that he seems to have low tone and to try to stimulate the mouth/facial muscles. Not sure how to do that, but I guess I'll look into it and add it to the to-do list. I go back to the feeding clinic with him in a few weeks and hopefully they will have some answers/solutions. It's just been SUCH a long 14 month struggle to nourish him, with no real end in sight. But he is making progress and I need to just focus on that. And she did think he was within the realm of normal (on the low end) for his "speech"...no words yet but she said he's making some good sounds which is encouraging. And his receptive language (and desire to learn) seems to be taking off, which is great to see!
I am constantly reminded by friends/family (and I fully know) that these are just tough ages regardless, even under the best of circumstances. And I 100% know that it would feel almost as hard even if Jared were here, because I wouldn't have the perspective that I have now. Although most of the daily kid "chores" would still largely fall on me, I'd get the little pick-me-up phone calls and emails during the day from him at work, and have the change of dynamics every night/weekend/vacation when he was home, and have his companionship/love/support/encouragement to look forward to each and every day. And help with the house upkeep. Not to mention the breaks from diapers, baths, the kid-free windows, getting to sleep-in occasionally, etc, etc. It would still feel very hard, but not in the lonely/overwhelming way it feels now.
What this all boils down to is that life continues to be very challenging on many levels. The basic challenge of raising our two little boys alone, paired with lots of worrying/managing their various developmental issues, all with the constant sadness of missing Jared and the happy, fulfilling life we shared. It would be easy to say that I didn't know how good I had it. But I absolutely DID know how good I had it and I recognized and appreciated our happy marriage every single day. I think that only makes it harder. In some ways, the true root cause of all of life's challenges right now is just how much I miss Jared, and miss sharing our life/children together, both the good times as well as the challenges. If Jared were here, all the other challenges/difficulties would remain. But tackling them as a team would make all the difference in the world.
Wow, this really did end up being a rambling post. I guess sometimes it helps to put all these feelings down into words. And the pickings were slim, but here are a few recent pics of the boys for you...
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Rail Trail with Nonnie
We had a fun visit with Nonnie today. We went for a 2+ mile "hike" on the rail trail, and Kyle showed Nonnie the ropes...the 2 bridges, log pile, all the benches, and his favorite rock. I didn't take the double stroller, so I used pizza as a motivator for Kyle on the walk back to the car (in the interest of time, he usually walks the mile out to the 2nd ridge and then rides in the stroller on the way back). It was slow going at times but he's a little trooper (and really wanted pizza!).
And I got yet ANOTHER picture of Kyle that I really like...2 in less than a week! I guess the key is to plunk him on a bench on the rail trail :) And speaking of pictures, the reflectors on Luke's stroller really wreaked havoc on my photo attempts! You'll see it in some that I posted, but the reflection was WAY worse in a lot of the others, completely "whiting out" half the picture! I guess I should have turned the flash off...
And I got yet ANOTHER picture of Kyle that I really like...2 in less than a week! I guess the key is to plunk him on a bench on the rail trail :) And speaking of pictures, the reflectors on Luke's stroller really wreaked havoc on my photo attempts! You'll see it in some that I posted, but the reflection was WAY worse in a lot of the others, completely "whiting out" half the picture! I guess I should have turned the flash off...
Monday, October 10, 2011
Our "Nutshells"
Just thought I'd write an update with "our nutshells", which was Jared's cute/quaint expression when summing something up..."and that's my nutshell", instead of "in a nutshell" :)
KYLE'S NUTSHELL:
Kyle is definitely enjoying school, and his teacher reports that he is making progress in terms of joining the class activities with less prompting. So that's encouraging. I have an IEP progress meeting next week with his team and will be very interested to hear their observations/recommendations.
He had his 3 year well visit a couple weeks ago and it went well. He was around the 90th percentile for both height and weight, and he also got his flu and chicken pox shots while we were there. He was a good boy with all the waiting (probably because I let him play with my iPhone the whole time!).
And as an extension of the "Uncle Mike" joke, his new thing is making jokes about who is who...Benson is Kyle, Mommy is Grammy, Nonnie is Grampa, etc, etc. I just LOVE seeing him be silly and hearing him laugh. Hopefully there will be more and more of that in the near future.
LUKE'S NUTSHELL:
I can summarize Pooks in two words...pure joy. I know I am biased, but he is just the sweetest, happiest, most adorable little creature in the world :) He is my little "sonshine" and I could just gobble him up! I love Kyle every bit as much as him, but Luke is just at a very fun age...everything is exciting to him and he doesn't have that edge/attitude yet (and hopefully never will!).
He has started trying to take some steps, and is very proud of himself when he does. If I say "do your walking", he'll let go of whatever he's holding onto and take a couple steps before doing a faceplant. Unlike cautious Kyle, Luke has absolutely no fear (which can be good and bad). It's like it doesn't even occur to him that he can't really walk yet when he tries, and it doesn't phase him when he falls. I think real walking is still a ways off, but when he's physically ready, he'll take off with no fear!
And I feel like he's blossoming developmentally in a lot of areas. He likes looking at books now and is learning to recognize some of the pictures, like car and ball. And he points to the pictures using both his index and middle finger...those are the two fingers that he's sucked since he was a newborn and I guess he thinks they are a package deal...adorable :) And he'll "dance" on command (i.e. bounce up and down while holding onto something) and giggle as he's doing it. He will also try to repeat more sounds/words now, including "apple" (in honor of Steve Jobs?). And whenever he does something that he's proud of (which is quite often...as Grammy says, he has a very good opinion of himself!), he will also look for a reaction and praise. While rubbing his feet together like a little cricket, because that's what he does when he's happy/proud :)
And last but not least, what would a blog post be without a Luke feeding update. Only this time, it will be slightly positive! My new schedule with him is to do high calorie (mixing a jar with formula/cereal) breakfast and dinner, and then focus lunch more on self-feeding. And I must say, it is pretty tolerable! Granted, that is largely due to the fact that Grammy is feeding him dinner most nights. But he seems to take his high-calories meals more easily (not thrilled about it, but will tolerate it with enough antics/distractions). And he is making some progress with finger foods, seeming more excited about feeding himself and getting better at swallowing. I did take him to a pediatric GI doctor, to rule out any kind of GERD issue that could be causing all his eating difficulties. He didn't see anything obvious but ordered a modified barium swallow test (to rule out any physical causes) and prescribed an antacid (as a trial, to see if things improved). For now, after reading up on it, I don't think I am going to do either one of those. He seems to be making progress, I am able to maintain his weight, he's growing well in length, and he's very happy, sleeps well and never seems in pain. So I'd rather not subject him to radiation for a test that he may very well not cooperate for anyway. I'm still thinking about trying the Prilosec, but for now I'm holding off.
MY NUTSHELL:
My nutshell is a direct reflection of their nutshells. Luke's progress with eating is HUGE and really has improved the quality of my life. While I still dread feeding him, I don't feel like I'm going to lose my mind during it! So that's progress. Oh, and something I should have included in Kyle's nutshell is the fact that he's sleeping until 6:30/6:45 every morning now...hooray!! Just in time for "fall back" :( What a difference that extra hour makes though...getting up at 5:30 with a soaking wet, grumpy, demanding little boy was NOT a good way to start the day.
Since Jared died, I have found it very important to always have things on the calendar, to both look forward to and help break up the monotony. Along those lines, since I work from home on a flex schedule (meaning I work 7 days a week so the days seem to just run together), I like having things that make each day feel a little different. Kyle's school schedule helps...that defines Tues-Fri. And I have also found that exercising helps too. Ever since Luke started sleeping through the night (i.e. I stopped waking him up to try to nurse him throughout the night!), I have been exercising 4 days a week and haven't yet missed a day! My "secret" is that I schedule the 4 days on my calendar at the beginning of each week, and that way it doesn't feel like an option to me. And the fact that my exercise bike is in my bedroom with a TV in front of it helps too...would be hard to make excuses! So that defines those days, and obviously I particularly like the feel of the 3 days that I DON'T exercise!
So those are our nutshells. I haven't been good about taking pictures recently, but I took some on our rail trail walk this afternoon. I especially like the one of Kyle leaning on the bench...it is SO hard to get a good picture of him so I treasure the good ones of him that much more!
KYLE'S NUTSHELL:
Kyle is definitely enjoying school, and his teacher reports that he is making progress in terms of joining the class activities with less prompting. So that's encouraging. I have an IEP progress meeting next week with his team and will be very interested to hear their observations/recommendations.
He had his 3 year well visit a couple weeks ago and it went well. He was around the 90th percentile for both height and weight, and he also got his flu and chicken pox shots while we were there. He was a good boy with all the waiting (probably because I let him play with my iPhone the whole time!).
And as an extension of the "Uncle Mike" joke, his new thing is making jokes about who is who...Benson is Kyle, Mommy is Grammy, Nonnie is Grampa, etc, etc. I just LOVE seeing him be silly and hearing him laugh. Hopefully there will be more and more of that in the near future.
LUKE'S NUTSHELL:
I can summarize Pooks in two words...pure joy. I know I am biased, but he is just the sweetest, happiest, most adorable little creature in the world :) He is my little "sonshine" and I could just gobble him up! I love Kyle every bit as much as him, but Luke is just at a very fun age...everything is exciting to him and he doesn't have that edge/attitude yet (and hopefully never will!).
He has started trying to take some steps, and is very proud of himself when he does. If I say "do your walking", he'll let go of whatever he's holding onto and take a couple steps before doing a faceplant. Unlike cautious Kyle, Luke has absolutely no fear (which can be good and bad). It's like it doesn't even occur to him that he can't really walk yet when he tries, and it doesn't phase him when he falls. I think real walking is still a ways off, but when he's physically ready, he'll take off with no fear!
And I feel like he's blossoming developmentally in a lot of areas. He likes looking at books now and is learning to recognize some of the pictures, like car and ball. And he points to the pictures using both his index and middle finger...those are the two fingers that he's sucked since he was a newborn and I guess he thinks they are a package deal...adorable :) And he'll "dance" on command (i.e. bounce up and down while holding onto something) and giggle as he's doing it. He will also try to repeat more sounds/words now, including "apple" (in honor of Steve Jobs?). And whenever he does something that he's proud of (which is quite often...as Grammy says, he has a very good opinion of himself!), he will also look for a reaction and praise. While rubbing his feet together like a little cricket, because that's what he does when he's happy/proud :)
And last but not least, what would a blog post be without a Luke feeding update. Only this time, it will be slightly positive! My new schedule with him is to do high calorie (mixing a jar with formula/cereal) breakfast and dinner, and then focus lunch more on self-feeding. And I must say, it is pretty tolerable! Granted, that is largely due to the fact that Grammy is feeding him dinner most nights. But he seems to take his high-calories meals more easily (not thrilled about it, but will tolerate it with enough antics/distractions). And he is making some progress with finger foods, seeming more excited about feeding himself and getting better at swallowing. I did take him to a pediatric GI doctor, to rule out any kind of GERD issue that could be causing all his eating difficulties. He didn't see anything obvious but ordered a modified barium swallow test (to rule out any physical causes) and prescribed an antacid (as a trial, to see if things improved). For now, after reading up on it, I don't think I am going to do either one of those. He seems to be making progress, I am able to maintain his weight, he's growing well in length, and he's very happy, sleeps well and never seems in pain. So I'd rather not subject him to radiation for a test that he may very well not cooperate for anyway. I'm still thinking about trying the Prilosec, but for now I'm holding off.
MY NUTSHELL:
My nutshell is a direct reflection of their nutshells. Luke's progress with eating is HUGE and really has improved the quality of my life. While I still dread feeding him, I don't feel like I'm going to lose my mind during it! So that's progress. Oh, and something I should have included in Kyle's nutshell is the fact that he's sleeping until 6:30/6:45 every morning now...hooray!! Just in time for "fall back" :( What a difference that extra hour makes though...getting up at 5:30 with a soaking wet, grumpy, demanding little boy was NOT a good way to start the day.
Since Jared died, I have found it very important to always have things on the calendar, to both look forward to and help break up the monotony. Along those lines, since I work from home on a flex schedule (meaning I work 7 days a week so the days seem to just run together), I like having things that make each day feel a little different. Kyle's school schedule helps...that defines Tues-Fri. And I have also found that exercising helps too. Ever since Luke started sleeping through the night (i.e. I stopped waking him up to try to nurse him throughout the night!), I have been exercising 4 days a week and haven't yet missed a day! My "secret" is that I schedule the 4 days on my calendar at the beginning of each week, and that way it doesn't feel like an option to me. And the fact that my exercise bike is in my bedroom with a TV in front of it helps too...would be hard to make excuses! So that defines those days, and obviously I particularly like the feel of the 3 days that I DON'T exercise!
So those are our nutshells. I haven't been good about taking pictures recently, but I took some on our rail trail walk this afternoon. I especially like the one of Kyle leaning on the bench...it is SO hard to get a good picture of him so I treasure the good ones of him that much more!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Kyle and Luke's Birthday Party!
Kyle and Luke had a great time celebrating their birthdays yesterday! We had all ages represented, ranging from 1 to two very spry 88 year olds. Kyle and Luke didn't seem at all overwhelmed by the crowd (24 was the final headcount) and appeared to enjoy all the commotion and attention. And of course all the wonderful presents!
But for the 3rd straight year, Kyle found the whole cake presentation very upsetting. But UNLIKE the last two years, he went to town on it and enjoyed every last bite! As expected (because it's food and all), Luke just liked smearing around the frosting, not actually eating it. Although he did put his finger in his mouth ONCE, after I did myself and then said "you do it". But that was it. Yay Pooks!
Thanks to all who helped make the day so special...my boys and I are very blessed to have so many wonderful, caring people in our lives.
PS: I apologize to anyone who used the kids' bathroom at the end of the hall and endured a horrible smell...I had their dirty diaper bag in there and forget to take it out before the party. Sorry! Thanks Aunt Ca for noticing and remedying the situation :)
But for the 3rd straight year, Kyle found the whole cake presentation very upsetting. But UNLIKE the last two years, he went to town on it and enjoyed every last bite! As expected (because it's food and all), Luke just liked smearing around the frosting, not actually eating it. Although he did put his finger in his mouth ONCE, after I did myself and then said "you do it". But that was it. Yay Pooks!
Thanks to all who helped make the day so special...my boys and I are very blessed to have so many wonderful, caring people in our lives.
PS: I apologize to anyone who used the kids' bathroom at the end of the hall and endured a horrible smell...I had their dirty diaper bag in there and forget to take it out before the party. Sorry! Thanks Aunt Ca for noticing and remedying the situation :)
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
First Day of School!
Today was Kyle's first day of preschool! He will be going 4 mornings a week (Tues - Fri from 9 - 11:20) on an IEP for his social/communication delays. I really like the school/people and am hopeful that things will start to "click" for him, and that he'll let loose and learn that it's fun to talk/play with other kids!
According to his teacher, he had a good first day. About 45 minutes after I dropped him off though, the phone rang and caller ID showed "Wachusett Regional". So of course my heart sank and I thought something was wrong. But it was just the preschool director calling to give me a little update and tell me that he was doing well (after she said who she was, she immediately said that Kyle was fine...I must have sounded worried when I answered!). I thought that call was a really nice gesture, especially since it was my first time leaving him anywhere with "strangers".
Kyle said he likes the "new school", and likes Miss Pam (his teacher), but the popsicle for snack was "too cold" (the teacher said he battled through it though and ate about half of it...what a trooper!). So I think preschool will be a really good thing for him and he will hopefully benefit from the highly educated/specialized staff there.
These "happy" kid milestone days are still just so hard/sad, not having Jared here to share them with. Between this and their birthdays, it's a tough stretch. I just miss him so much, and really, really miss being parents together. I know I've probably said it a lot, but sharing the parenting experience with him was truly the most joyful, gratifying experience of my life. I love my kids more than anything in the world, but parenting can now feel very lonely and overwhelming. I continue to take life one day at a time though and try not to look ahead too much. Looking back over the last year and a half is helpful though, recognizing that life sure is a lot easier than it was this time last year.
As for Luke, no big news in his world. Still doesn't like to eat (and he went to the extreme of vomiting his lunch up for Grammy today to get his point across). But he's still the cutest/happiest baby :) He had his 12 month check-up a few weeks ago and it went pretty well. He's about 80th percentile for length but only about 30th for weight. They like for these percentiles to be much closer, but at least he's growing well in length and has maintained the 30th(ish) for weight ever since he dropped down there around 4 months old. I have scheduled another appt at the UMASS Feeding Clinic, as he is not making much progress with finger foods. He'll put most anything in his mouth and chew, but for some reason doesn't want to swallow and just lets the food sit there.
I just hope and pray I look back at all of these feeding challenges a year from now and have a happy, healthy little 2 year old who eats/drinks willingly and gains weight normally. One other Lukey Pooks tidbit is that I started bathing him in the full bathtub (not his baby tub) a few weeks ago. He really likes splashing around in there but also likes leaning forward and putting his face in/drinking the water...hopefully the novelty of that wears off soon!
And a brothers tidbit...a sweet little "game" has developed between Kyle and Luke. I now put Luke in the Pack 'n Play after meals (so if he spits up, it's contained and not on the rug). And Luke discovered that it's fun to throw his toys out of the Pack 'n Play onto the floor, knowing Kyle will pick them up for him. And sure enough, Kyle runs over saying "he needs help" and hands the toys back to him. Very cute :)
Here are some pictures of Kyle's first day, as well as some other recent ones...
According to his teacher, he had a good first day. About 45 minutes after I dropped him off though, the phone rang and caller ID showed "Wachusett Regional". So of course my heart sank and I thought something was wrong. But it was just the preschool director calling to give me a little update and tell me that he was doing well (after she said who she was, she immediately said that Kyle was fine...I must have sounded worried when I answered!). I thought that call was a really nice gesture, especially since it was my first time leaving him anywhere with "strangers".
Kyle said he likes the "new school", and likes Miss Pam (his teacher), but the popsicle for snack was "too cold" (the teacher said he battled through it though and ate about half of it...what a trooper!). So I think preschool will be a really good thing for him and he will hopefully benefit from the highly educated/specialized staff there.
These "happy" kid milestone days are still just so hard/sad, not having Jared here to share them with. Between this and their birthdays, it's a tough stretch. I just miss him so much, and really, really miss being parents together. I know I've probably said it a lot, but sharing the parenting experience with him was truly the most joyful, gratifying experience of my life. I love my kids more than anything in the world, but parenting can now feel very lonely and overwhelming. I continue to take life one day at a time though and try not to look ahead too much. Looking back over the last year and a half is helpful though, recognizing that life sure is a lot easier than it was this time last year.
As for Luke, no big news in his world. Still doesn't like to eat (and he went to the extreme of vomiting his lunch up for Grammy today to get his point across). But he's still the cutest/happiest baby :) He had his 12 month check-up a few weeks ago and it went pretty well. He's about 80th percentile for length but only about 30th for weight. They like for these percentiles to be much closer, but at least he's growing well in length and has maintained the 30th(ish) for weight ever since he dropped down there around 4 months old. I have scheduled another appt at the UMASS Feeding Clinic, as he is not making much progress with finger foods. He'll put most anything in his mouth and chew, but for some reason doesn't want to swallow and just lets the food sit there.
I just hope and pray I look back at all of these feeding challenges a year from now and have a happy, healthy little 2 year old who eats/drinks willingly and gains weight normally. One other Lukey Pooks tidbit is that I started bathing him in the full bathtub (not his baby tub) a few weeks ago. He really likes splashing around in there but also likes leaning forward and putting his face in/drinking the water...hopefully the novelty of that wears off soon!
And a brothers tidbit...a sweet little "game" has developed between Kyle and Luke. I now put Luke in the Pack 'n Play after meals (so if he spits up, it's contained and not on the rug). And Luke discovered that it's fun to throw his toys out of the Pack 'n Play onto the floor, knowing Kyle will pick them up for him. And sure enough, Kyle runs over saying "he needs help" and hands the toys back to him. Very cute :)
Here are some pictures of Kyle's first day, as well as some other recent ones...
Friday, August 26, 2011
Hardy Visit
We had a great visit yesterday afternoon with the Hardy clan! Luke and Matthew were able to strengthen their BFF status, and Kyle had fun playing on his "little tiny playground" with Kaelyn and Madelyn. But what Kyle REALLY enjoyed was the pizza (he ate 3 slices, according to a somewhat appalled Kaelyn). Such a cute, sweet little crew, those Hardy kids. And of course Er too, who Kyle was very clearly calling "Erica". Not sure where that came from, because I NEVER call her that, except of course when we're in a huge fight ;)
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Happy 1st Birthday Pooks!
Hard to believe, but my sweet little Pooks turned 1 today! I got him a small cake, mostly for Kyle's benefit since he now "gets" that you have cake on birthdays, and he also (FINALLY) gets that cake is yummy. So unlike his last 2 birthdays, Kyle will actually be eating his birthday cake this year!
As you can see in the pictures (thanks to Grammy for being the photographer), Luke loved smearing it all around and getting good and messy. He did try a little bit but was definitely more interested in playing with it than eating it.
Kyle sang to him at various times today. But the best was this morning...I usually send Kyle into Luke's room when he first wakes up and he sings "Good Morning to Lukey Pookie". But this morning he went in, turned on the light, and sang "Happy Birthday". Luke was so happy and I WISH I had gotten a video of this sweet little exchange, but of course I didn't :(
Happy, happy birthday my sweet little boy...you are such a joy and blessing :)
As you can see in the pictures (thanks to Grammy for being the photographer), Luke loved smearing it all around and getting good and messy. He did try a little bit but was definitely more interested in playing with it than eating it.
Kyle sang to him at various times today. But the best was this morning...I usually send Kyle into Luke's room when he first wakes up and he sings "Good Morning to Lukey Pookie". But this morning he went in, turned on the light, and sang "Happy Birthday". Luke was so happy and I WISH I had gotten a video of this sweet little exchange, but of course I didn't :(
Happy, happy birthday my sweet little boy...you are such a joy and blessing :)
Monday, August 22, 2011
My Hero, My Savior, My Mommy
Yes, my mom has TRULY been my savior these last few weeks. And as I blogged last night for the first time in almost a month, I realized how long overdue this post is. As anyone knows who has had even a casual conversation with me recently, feeding Luke is VERY challenging. He just REALLY does not like to eat. And of all the difficulties in my life, this is the one thing that was really pushing me to a bad place. It was starting to adversely affect my parenting as a whole, not to mention my overall sanity.
So that's where Grammy stepped in, or I should say "stepped up". For the last few weeks, most days Grammy has been feeding Luke BOTH lunch and dinner! And she has had great success, almost always getting his whole meal in him. But this (along with the pictures below of him looking super-happy about eating) is very misleading. While Grammy does have a wonderful knack for keeping his meals light and fun, it is VERY hard work. It requires a constant barrage of "props" (things to distract him such as extra spoons, wax paper, lids, etc) and other silly antics, all while defending against his trademark spoon swipe and (albeit playfully) swiping at her face!
Her help has given me one of the hugest lifts possible. And as a result, I feel like I have been a much better mom to both Kyle and Luke. And Luke is definitely getting WAY more much-needed calories in him than if I were going it alone, because I was just running out of the time/patience/energy required to get through each meal, and I was beginning to feel like it was just an impossible task (I have quite seriously compared Grammy's feeding heroics to summiting Mount Everest!).
So thank you, thank you, THANK YOU Grammy. All three of us are in a much better place because of your VERY much appreciated efforts :)
So that's where Grammy stepped in, or I should say "stepped up". For the last few weeks, most days Grammy has been feeding Luke BOTH lunch and dinner! And she has had great success, almost always getting his whole meal in him. But this (along with the pictures below of him looking super-happy about eating) is very misleading. While Grammy does have a wonderful knack for keeping his meals light and fun, it is VERY hard work. It requires a constant barrage of "props" (things to distract him such as extra spoons, wax paper, lids, etc) and other silly antics, all while defending against his trademark spoon swipe and (albeit playfully) swiping at her face!
Her help has given me one of the hugest lifts possible. And as a result, I feel like I have been a much better mom to both Kyle and Luke. And Luke is definitely getting WAY more much-needed calories in him than if I were going it alone, because I was just running out of the time/patience/energy required to get through each meal, and I was beginning to feel like it was just an impossible task (I have quite seriously compared Grammy's feeding heroics to summiting Mount Everest!).
So thank you, thank you, THANK YOU Grammy. All three of us are in a much better place because of your VERY much appreciated efforts :)
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