We had a fun visit with Nonnie today! The boys liked reading/"reading" to her (Luke's "reading" is in quotes, but Kyle's is the real deal!). We then went on a nice walk, with each boy carrying their cool new vehicle that Nonnie gave them. We stopped to look at lots of flowers, bugs, moss, mushrooms, and dirt along the way, and a huge excavator digging a hole for a new pool a few doors down! After our walk, the boys liked showing Nonnie their helicopter that flies (and the kitties were just as excited about it too!), and enjoyed salmon burgers for lunch.
The visit was capped off with the boys running "errands" up and down the hall (e.g. I tell them, "I need you to go to Connecticut and audit the shoe factory", or "I need you to go to the restaurant and show the cook how to make pizza", and they run down the hall and pretend to do the task...incorporates exercise and imagination!). Oh, and I almost forgot the REAL highlight...watching Nonnie write "Great Grampy" on the magnadoodle :)
Friday, April 19, 2013
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Meet Sunday and Patsy!
Luke and I went to the animal shelter on Friday to meet our new kitties (who weren't going to be old/big enough for us to take home for a couple weeks). And while there, we saw 6 month old kitty sisters that I really "connected" with (whatever that means with cats?!). So we made the switch and picked them up yesterday!
"Floyd" is now a girl, so she became Patsy (as in the Pats, hands-down Jared's favorite sports team). So Sunday and Patsy (or "Patsy Pats" as Luke calls her) have been busy exploring their new crib for the last 24 hrs. They've eaten, drank, used the litter box, and even played a little ball with the kids. For the most part though, they have kept a low profile when the boys are running around like maniacs. But after they went to bed last night, both kitties curled up on my lap :)
It's fun to start learning their different personalities. Patsy is definitely a bit bolder and more playful, and she slept on my bed (in her bed) last night. And Sunday seems more shy but VERY relaxed and content in my lap. Not sure where she slept last night. Still learning their hiding places...there are times where I have absolutely no idea where they are!
And yes, they look a LOT like Benson. Purely coincidental. In fact, I would have preferred that they looked totally different. But I like short-hair cats (and these guys have the SOFTEST fur), and I liked their age, and they just seemed really sweet and "right". Now the boys and I just have to remember that they're "shes" (I feel like my mom calling my pet by the wrong gender). At least Mom, Ca and I now all have pets of the same gender, so that should make things easier :)
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Benson, the Best Kitty Ever, 1/1/00(ish) - 4/2/13
At age 13, Benson suddenly stopped eating, going from 16 lbs to 11 lbs (vet suspects from advanced cancer), and developed fatty liver disease. I tried force feeding him for 10 days (swaddled with a syringe...not fun for either of us), on the off-chance that he stopped eating because of an infected tooth that the vet pulled. But he just kept going downhill. He started throwing up, stopped cleaning himself so had litter all stuck in his fur, and just wanted to be off by himself, like he knew he was dying. Seeing him in this state was definitely the hardest part for me, as I hate seeing any creature suffering.
At that point, the decision was pretty obvious. And I am SO thankful that I was able to have him put to sleep at home, while gently patting him on my lap, instead of having his last life experience be a car ride and the vet's office (both of which terrified him). He was such a sweet, cuddly cat. And such a comfort and companion to me, especially since Jared died. And also such a tie to my life with Jared. But I am at peace knowing I did the right thing. I really miss him though, especially at night after the kids go to bed.
The boys are doing fine with it. I had been prepping them, saying that Benson was really, really sick and they (Kyle) deduced that he might die. So on the last night, I had them pat him gently and tell him how much they loved him before bed (they didn't know that was the last time they'd see him, but I feel good that they had a sweet, loving final exchange with him).
His death definitely stirred up feelings/fears in Kyle about death. Ever since, he has been expressing worry that I might die. And he will say "Mommy, I love you so much and don't want you to ever, ever die". Or "Mommy, please don't die first". Per psychologists' recommendations, I don't promise him that I won't die, but I just tell him that most people die when they're really, really old, and that I'm not old so not to worry. And then he wants to know if I did die, would he get a new mommy, and where would he live. And I just tell him that he has lots of people in his life who love him and would take care of him, and that he'd live with Aunt Ca, Uncle Jon, Alex and Rachel because they love him so much. Don't know if I'm telling him too much, but I'm just kind of following his lead and trying to put his fears to rest as best I can. Such sad worries for a four year old. Absolutely breaks my heart.
And then I got an email from his school yesterday, saying Kyle was telling staff that he was going to the mall for breakfast with Mommy and Daddy in the morning. They wanted to know how they should respond when he says things like that. I asked Kyle this morning if he told a lie at school yesterday, and he said yes and described exactly what they told me. I asked why he said that, and he said because he wishes we could do that, and that Daddy could come down from heaven to live with us. And I responded the way I always do "me too baby, I wish that more than anything in the world". I really can't explain the gut-wrenching ache I feel when he says things like that. I know the pain is way worse for me hearing it than it is for him, but it just hurts like nothing else. Really just indescribable hurt.
Oh a happier note, the boys are excited to get TWO new kitties in the coming weeks. I have already decided on names, wanting to choose ones that give us a connection to Jared: Sunday (because Sunday was "Jared's day"...he loved making pancakes, reading the Sunday paper, going to the flea market, going mountain biking, and of course watching football) and Floyd (because Pink Floyd was "our music" that we loved listening to when relaxing and hanging out together). So stay tuned for the arrival of Sunday and Floyd!
Here's a photo tribute to our sweet little (I use that term loosely) Benson...
At that point, the decision was pretty obvious. And I am SO thankful that I was able to have him put to sleep at home, while gently patting him on my lap, instead of having his last life experience be a car ride and the vet's office (both of which terrified him). He was such a sweet, cuddly cat. And such a comfort and companion to me, especially since Jared died. And also such a tie to my life with Jared. But I am at peace knowing I did the right thing. I really miss him though, especially at night after the kids go to bed.
The boys are doing fine with it. I had been prepping them, saying that Benson was really, really sick and they (Kyle) deduced that he might die. So on the last night, I had them pat him gently and tell him how much they loved him before bed (they didn't know that was the last time they'd see him, but I feel good that they had a sweet, loving final exchange with him).
His death definitely stirred up feelings/fears in Kyle about death. Ever since, he has been expressing worry that I might die. And he will say "Mommy, I love you so much and don't want you to ever, ever die". Or "Mommy, please don't die first". Per psychologists' recommendations, I don't promise him that I won't die, but I just tell him that most people die when they're really, really old, and that I'm not old so not to worry. And then he wants to know if I did die, would he get a new mommy, and where would he live. And I just tell him that he has lots of people in his life who love him and would take care of him, and that he'd live with Aunt Ca, Uncle Jon, Alex and Rachel because they love him so much. Don't know if I'm telling him too much, but I'm just kind of following his lead and trying to put his fears to rest as best I can. Such sad worries for a four year old. Absolutely breaks my heart.
And then I got an email from his school yesterday, saying Kyle was telling staff that he was going to the mall for breakfast with Mommy and Daddy in the morning. They wanted to know how they should respond when he says things like that. I asked Kyle this morning if he told a lie at school yesterday, and he said yes and described exactly what they told me. I asked why he said that, and he said because he wishes we could do that, and that Daddy could come down from heaven to live with us. And I responded the way I always do "me too baby, I wish that more than anything in the world". I really can't explain the gut-wrenching ache I feel when he says things like that. I know the pain is way worse for me hearing it than it is for him, but it just hurts like nothing else. Really just indescribable hurt.
Oh a happier note, the boys are excited to get TWO new kitties in the coming weeks. I have already decided on names, wanting to choose ones that give us a connection to Jared: Sunday (because Sunday was "Jared's day"...he loved making pancakes, reading the Sunday paper, going to the flea market, going mountain biking, and of course watching football) and Floyd (because Pink Floyd was "our music" that we loved listening to when relaxing and hanging out together). So stay tuned for the arrival of Sunday and Floyd!
Here's a photo tribute to our sweet little (I use that term loosely) Benson...
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Happy Easter!
The boys had a fun Easter today! Kyle was a good boy and did puzzles in his room this morning until Luke woke up, so that we could all go down together to see if the Easter bunny came. And lo and behold, he (she?) did! The boys thought it was CRAZY that they got to eat candy (about 1/3 of a funsize bag of M&Ms that were in their eggs) and a lollipop before breakfast! They really lived it up :) Probably the last year I can get away with such candy deprivation...
We then went up to Great Grampy's and had fun playing outside (SUCH a nice day!) with Nonnie, Uncle Mike, Kaitlyn, Emily, and of course Great Grampy. The boys liked driving their new cars from Nonnie in the dirt, reciting the Pledge of Allegiance to all the flags in the complex, and singing "I'm into Something Good" (got to love a 4 yr old and 2 yr old singing "...and I can tell, I'm her kind of guy"). Luke especially enjoyed turning his new white stuffed bunny into a lovely dirty-dishwater color by rolling him around in the dirt :)
Then we headed over to the country club for a yummy brunch. Kyle was in heaven with all the deliciously unhealthy food on his plate. He even got to pick a dessert...chocolate cake! He was simply dumbfounded walking around the extensive dessert table, like he was exploring a foreign country :) They were really well-behaved for the most part (our waitress even came over to compliment them on their good behavior!). And they got to meet the Easter bunny...what more could they ask for?! Oh, I know...some high fives with Great Grampy before we left :)
We then went up to Great Grampy's and had fun playing outside (SUCH a nice day!) with Nonnie, Uncle Mike, Kaitlyn, Emily, and of course Great Grampy. The boys liked driving their new cars from Nonnie in the dirt, reciting the Pledge of Allegiance to all the flags in the complex, and singing "I'm into Something Good" (got to love a 4 yr old and 2 yr old singing "...and I can tell, I'm her kind of guy"). Luke especially enjoyed turning his new white stuffed bunny into a lovely dirty-dishwater color by rolling him around in the dirt :)
Then we headed over to the country club for a yummy brunch. Kyle was in heaven with all the deliciously unhealthy food on his plate. He even got to pick a dessert...chocolate cake! He was simply dumbfounded walking around the extensive dessert table, like he was exploring a foreign country :) They were really well-behaved for the most part (our waitress even came over to compliment them on their good behavior!). And they got to meet the Easter bunny...what more could they ask for?! Oh, I know...some high fives with Great Grampy before we left :)
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Monthly Nonnie Visit Post :)
We had a really nice visit with Nonnie today! Highlights included:
- The boys covering their eyes and reaching into the bag to see what Nonnie brought them (race cars!)
- Kyle clapping out the syllables in pachycephalosaurus (his favorite dinosaur, and he correctly came up with 7 syllables!)
- Luke beginning some of his sentences with "actually..." (and using it in the right context)
- Double "this little piggy" from Nonnie (resulting in LOTS of double tickles and giggles!)
- And, as always, any mention of Great Grampy (who for some unknown reason they continue to be both fascinated by and frightened of!).
To elaborate on the Great Grampy fixation, I have actually used "we can look at pictures of Great Grampy" as a bribe before. One that was very eagerly received! The bald, the mustache, it's all VERY exciting and terrifying to them :)
Anyway, here are a some pics from the visit, along with a few of our snowman that they were very proud of a few days ago :)
- The boys covering their eyes and reaching into the bag to see what Nonnie brought them (race cars!)
- Kyle clapping out the syllables in pachycephalosaurus (his favorite dinosaur, and he correctly came up with 7 syllables!)
- Luke beginning some of his sentences with "actually..." (and using it in the right context)
- Double "this little piggy" from Nonnie (resulting in LOTS of double tickles and giggles!)
- And, as always, any mention of Great Grampy (who for some unknown reason they continue to be both fascinated by and frightened of!).
To elaborate on the Great Grampy fixation, I have actually used "we can look at pictures of Great Grampy" as a bribe before. One that was very eagerly received! The bald, the mustache, it's all VERY exciting and terrifying to them :)
Anyway, here are a some pics from the visit, along with a few of our snowman that they were very proud of a few days ago :)
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Fun Nonnie Visit!
We had a great visit with Nonnie today! In addition to their excitement about seeing her, the boys were also excited about the new toys she brought for them...a helicopter for Kyle and a utility truck for Luke. They also had fun building with blocks and looking at books with her, especially "Goodnight Maine".
The best line of the visit came at the end, when Kyle learned that Nonnie was going to visit Great Grampy after she left. When asked if he wanted Nonnie to give Great Grampy a message for him, Kyle said to say "hi Great Grampy, we hope your bald stays on" :)
The best line of the visit came at the end, when Kyle learned that Nonnie was going to visit Great Grampy after she left. When asked if he wanted Nonnie to give Great Grampy a message for him, Kyle said to say "hi Great Grampy, we hope your bald stays on" :)
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Oh Luke... And Winter Outings
So Luke has a lot going on these days. Here's a summary of some recent accomplishments. Some of them endearing, most of them not:
- He likes shortening everyone's name. It started with switching from Mommy to Mom, which is kind of sad :( But then it expanded into "Ky" for Kyle, "Gram" for Grammy, "Non" for Nonnie, "Mi" for Mimi, "Ab" for Abby, etc. And he thinks he's VERY cool when he does this, and likes when you ask him "what would you call..."
- He climbed out of his crib for the first time a couple days ago and crashed to the floor...ouch :( REALLY hoping that was a one shot deal (at least for the time being). He was pretty upset and shaken up afterward, so maybe he learned his lesson. I hope so because I REALLY like to have a containment option for him!
- He has now joined the forward-facing carseat ranks of the world! I was SO hoping that it would reduce the amount of wrestling it takes for me to get him strapped in, but it hasn't :( I was also hoping it would stop his taking-off-shoes-and-socks habit when in the car, but it didn't :(
- He doesn't really drink anything. But he's very demanding in the drink department. He'll demand milk. I'll get it and then he says he doesn't want it and wants water. So I dump out the milk and get water. Then he says he doesn't want it and wants orange juice. And this goes on and on. And I (even though I know I shouldn't) go along with it because he drinks so little that I'm desperate!
- While I still usually get a nap out of him every day, it takes a lot of time/effort. Because that's when he likes to poop. And won't sleep with a poop. So I put him down, and then go back if he hasn't fallen asleep after 15 minutes or so and sure enough, he almost always has a poop. So I change him and then often repeat this one or two more times. I feel like naptime poops were the downfall of Kyle's napping career, and I fear it will be Luke's too :( And I am not ready for that!
- When he's done his meal, he very promptly flips his plate/bowl over on the table and throws his utensils to the floor. And even if I'm right there, I can't always predict when he considers himself done. And he's very quick. So I can't really stop it. And Kyle thinks it's hilarious.
- He discovered that he can operate the water dispenser on the fridge. After a couple small floods, this was easily remedied by using the "lock" feature (the purpose of which I never really understood until now).
- And apparently, he can now open the fridge too. Because when I was exercising this morning, I heard the trademark Luke's-being-naughty-giggle from Kyle. I ran out to see but not in time. Luke had pulled various condiments out of the fridge, which were easy enough to clean-up on the hardwood floor. But he also pulled out my takeout container of BBQ chicken tenders. Which he brought into the family room and dumped out all over the rug. After almost 2 hrs of scrubbing/shampooing, the BBQ sauce stains are gone. NOT fun. And when I told him I was very angry about the mess, and what should he say, he fumbled a bit and then said in his sweet little voice "you're welcome" :) Oh Luke...
And here are some pictures of our recent winter outings to the rail trail, Trout Brook, and most recently sledding! We went this afternoon up the road to the country club (where I think I used to sled as a kid). They loved it! And we ran into my friend Jenn's kids and her husband there...all of the sudden I heard this boy yell, "hey Abby, it's Kyle and Luke" :) I'm surprised he recognized them all bundled up! Kyle loved sledding fast with Abby, and having her pull him around. They had fun throwing snowballs, and making little tiny snowmen too. I just love watching them have fun :)
- He likes shortening everyone's name. It started with switching from Mommy to Mom, which is kind of sad :( But then it expanded into "Ky" for Kyle, "Gram" for Grammy, "Non" for Nonnie, "Mi" for Mimi, "Ab" for Abby, etc. And he thinks he's VERY cool when he does this, and likes when you ask him "what would you call..."
- He climbed out of his crib for the first time a couple days ago and crashed to the floor...ouch :( REALLY hoping that was a one shot deal (at least for the time being). He was pretty upset and shaken up afterward, so maybe he learned his lesson. I hope so because I REALLY like to have a containment option for him!
- He has now joined the forward-facing carseat ranks of the world! I was SO hoping that it would reduce the amount of wrestling it takes for me to get him strapped in, but it hasn't :( I was also hoping it would stop his taking-off-shoes-and-socks habit when in the car, but it didn't :(
- He doesn't really drink anything. But he's very demanding in the drink department. He'll demand milk. I'll get it and then he says he doesn't want it and wants water. So I dump out the milk and get water. Then he says he doesn't want it and wants orange juice. And this goes on and on. And I (even though I know I shouldn't) go along with it because he drinks so little that I'm desperate!
- While I still usually get a nap out of him every day, it takes a lot of time/effort. Because that's when he likes to poop. And won't sleep with a poop. So I put him down, and then go back if he hasn't fallen asleep after 15 minutes or so and sure enough, he almost always has a poop. So I change him and then often repeat this one or two more times. I feel like naptime poops were the downfall of Kyle's napping career, and I fear it will be Luke's too :( And I am not ready for that!
- When he's done his meal, he very promptly flips his plate/bowl over on the table and throws his utensils to the floor. And even if I'm right there, I can't always predict when he considers himself done. And he's very quick. So I can't really stop it. And Kyle thinks it's hilarious.
- He discovered that he can operate the water dispenser on the fridge. After a couple small floods, this was easily remedied by using the "lock" feature (the purpose of which I never really understood until now).
- And apparently, he can now open the fridge too. Because when I was exercising this morning, I heard the trademark Luke's-being-naughty-giggle from Kyle. I ran out to see but not in time. Luke had pulled various condiments out of the fridge, which were easy enough to clean-up on the hardwood floor. But he also pulled out my takeout container of BBQ chicken tenders. Which he brought into the family room and dumped out all over the rug. After almost 2 hrs of scrubbing/shampooing, the BBQ sauce stains are gone. NOT fun. And when I told him I was very angry about the mess, and what should he say, he fumbled a bit and then said in his sweet little voice "you're welcome" :) Oh Luke...
And here are some pictures of our recent winter outings to the rail trail, Trout Brook, and most recently sledding! We went this afternoon up the road to the country club (where I think I used to sled as a kid). They loved it! And we ran into my friend Jenn's kids and her husband there...all of the sudden I heard this boy yell, "hey Abby, it's Kyle and Luke" :) I'm surprised he recognized them all bundled up! Kyle loved sledding fast with Abby, and having her pull him around. They had fun throwing snowballs, and making little tiny snowmen too. I just love watching them have fun :)
Sunday, December 30, 2012
More Christmas!
We had a fun Christmas visit with Great Grampy, Nonnie, Auntie Jayne, Amresh, and Uncle Mike (and briefly Bob and Diane) today. The boys enjoyed lots of love/attention, another round of presents, and a pizza lunch!
It's funny, Kyle recently noticed how some men don't have hair and are "bald" (dangerous new term for him!), and that some men have mustaches. So he was quite fascinated (and for some reason scared) by Great Grampy who has both these attributes. Along those same lines, as you'll see in the pictures, both he and Luke liked exploring the different textures on Uncle Mike's head/face :)
And Luke liked Great Grampy's stair chairlift, getting into mischief, and trying to "eat" Kyle's face after I said I took a bite out of Kyle because I love him so much :)
It's funny, Kyle recently noticed how some men don't have hair and are "bald" (dangerous new term for him!), and that some men have mustaches. So he was quite fascinated (and for some reason scared) by Great Grampy who has both these attributes. Along those same lines, as you'll see in the pictures, both he and Luke liked exploring the different textures on Uncle Mike's head/face :)
And Luke liked Great Grampy's stair chairlift, getting into mischief, and trying to "eat" Kyle's face after I said I took a bite out of Kyle because I love him so much :)
Friday, December 28, 2012
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Weekends
Even though it's been almost 3 years, I feel like I'm still programmed to need or somehow expect "recharging" on the weekends. When Jared was alive, I used to SO look forward to them and truly cherished every minute of them...I got to hangout, talk, laugh, cuddle, and relax with my best friend 24-7. They were such a wonderful change of pace, with us taking turns being lazy, sleeping in, running kid-free errands, catching up on stuff around the house, playing games, watching sports/movies, special meals, etc. And best of all during our last 18 months together was sharing the indescribable joy/wonder/pride of being parents together (something I am ashamed to say I now struggle to feel). Weekends were truly rejuvenating, and I am now realizing just how important that is.
Now weekends couldn't be more opposite. In fact, I somewhat dread them and am usually happy when they're over. They just feel extra lonely, stressful, and exhausting, with our void magnified about 1000X when we're out on family outings (especially during the holidays). And of course weekends (or evenings for that matter) no longer provide any break from the "kid duties" (meals, diapers, baths, clean-ups, playing, etc), all while trying to stay on top of all the household chores, work, exercise, maintain my sanity, etc. How I wish my kids were the zone-out-in-front-of-the-TV type (just for small doses of course). But they most certainly are not!
But we got through another one. And I will continue to try to improve and recalibrate my outlook on life. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, and I really do try to focus on that. But it's still just really, really hard in so many ways.
On a happier note, the boys really enjoyed our outing today to the local Heifer International farm. They had sort of a holiday open house with hay rides, lots of animals, roasted chestnuts, Global Village walk, etc. Such a great place to visit, and learn about the wonderful work that they do for those less fortunate worldwide. And we brought canned goods, so I tried to explain to Kyle how some people are hungry all the time and don't have any food to eat, and that this farm and our canned goods help them. But he doesn't quite get it yet and said he wanted other people to stay hungry so we could keep our food ;) I only took a few pictures, but here they are, along with a few from Kyle's swim lesson...
PS: As you'll see in the pictures (especially from the rear view), I REALLY need to get Luke a new hat...his one from last year is REALLY small and looks REALLY funny :)
Now weekends couldn't be more opposite. In fact, I somewhat dread them and am usually happy when they're over. They just feel extra lonely, stressful, and exhausting, with our void magnified about 1000X when we're out on family outings (especially during the holidays). And of course weekends (or evenings for that matter) no longer provide any break from the "kid duties" (meals, diapers, baths, clean-ups, playing, etc), all while trying to stay on top of all the household chores, work, exercise, maintain my sanity, etc. How I wish my kids were the zone-out-in-front-of-the-TV type (just for small doses of course). But they most certainly are not!
But we got through another one. And I will continue to try to improve and recalibrate my outlook on life. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, and I really do try to focus on that. But it's still just really, really hard in so many ways.
On a happier note, the boys really enjoyed our outing today to the local Heifer International farm. They had sort of a holiday open house with hay rides, lots of animals, roasted chestnuts, Global Village walk, etc. Such a great place to visit, and learn about the wonderful work that they do for those less fortunate worldwide. And we brought canned goods, so I tried to explain to Kyle how some people are hungry all the time and don't have any food to eat, and that this farm and our canned goods help them. But he doesn't quite get it yet and said he wanted other people to stay hungry so we could keep our food ;) I only took a few pictures, but here they are, along with a few from Kyle's swim lesson...
PS: As you'll see in the pictures (especially from the rear view), I REALLY need to get Luke a new hat...his one from last year is REALLY small and looks REALLY funny :)
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